I’ve had a trip planned for several months and it looks like it will be canceled due to the seizures. I’m not safe for driving the amount of time necessary to get there. It’s a festival that’s only held every two years. My daughter is going to see if she can take us. That’s another reason I’m upset. I’ve really looked forward to this and if I don’t go this time I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect that I’ll be in a condition to go next time.That blew my mind. A less than two year time frame. Do I know it for fact? No, I don’t and I want to be wrong. I’ve seen other people close to me go down this road and it didn’t go well for them. Get settled to what? If other people are seeing it then it’s happening isn’t it? Or are they a bunch of nefarious motherfuckers trying to make me think I’m losing my mind?When I was told yesterday, we weren’t going to the festival and why I wasn’t happy. I understand the reasoning. I saw the festival as a reward and that was a mistake. I had learned. As we walked to our car, i walked next to Claire. "What did you talk about" i asked. Claire said nothing, didn't look at me and just walked in her steady pace. We got into the car and i was just about to turn the ignition, when Claire took my hand. "Tomorrow, we'll go to Kim's and Pierres. We are expected at 10 AM. There you will find out what we talked about". "WHAT" i shouted. "Please don't ask anything, don't say anything, just trust me and drive". I just sat there with my eyes closed, thinking about what Claire had just said. Trust me? Could i? There had never been a moment in our lives together where i wouldn't have trusted her with my life. After a very disturbing minute, i started the car, put it in reverse and drove off. We didn't say another word until the next morning...It had been rough getting to sleep. My thoughts kept me awake until 4 am. Eventually I did get some sleep, until Claire woke me at 7 am. Well, waking me up wasn’t really the right choice of words. I woke up.
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